Not sure how many of you who read my blog have ever had a year of confusion. For me this year has been a struggle mostly with 3 questions. They are "Will I get married/Who will I marry?", "Where am I going to live?", and "What will I do the rest of my life?" It seems like these 3 questions hit me all at the same time. The most recent time I have had these struggles was this last weekend and this week. What happens most of the time is these questions can cause me to be very lonely. I feel like I am alone in facing these decisions/questions. For the most part I have been turning to Christ, through reading my Bible, to realize the I am not alone in processing these questions. All I can rest in is that Christ is the one who can help me and guide me through these rough times. There are times I feel like giving up, but Christ is always there for me.
I would like to add that in addition to the confusion I have a few memories that I wish I could forget. There were a few times in 2011 that I was not performing at my best. I think part of my problem, was that I tried to live my life by my own strength and not depend on Christ to lead me. Some of those bad memories have come out of some of my times of confusion. I am still confused, but I feel that through it all I have come to a point where I depend more on Christ's strength than my own strength through those confusing times. It isn't always easy.
Joel...I know this has been a hard year for you and, as one of your friends, I have felt helpless at times as you have struggled with these questions. Truthfully, if you were not struggling with these particular questions, there would be another set of questions for you to struggle through. That is because this life and all of its blessings and struggles are just a shadow of what our souls TRULY long for--and that is a deep and intimate relationship with God.
ReplyDeleteA year ago I memorized Psalm 25 and my mind has feasted richly on the deep truths in that Psalm. May I share some of them with you?
First, the only way to satisfy our souls is in relationship with the Lord. Anyone who seeks ANYTHING else besides God will end up thirsty. Any human relationship or human expectation that becomes primary over Christ becomes an idol.
1 To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul;
2 in you I trust, O my God.
Do not let me be put to shame,
nor let my enemies triumph over me.
3 No one whose hope is in you
will ever be put to shame,
but they will be put to shame
who are treacherous without excuse.
Second, the path we seek is known (more than known--it is ordained) by the Lord. He created you, He knows what you need (better than you even know what you need), and He stands ready to lead you in a path of blessing and satisfaction.
4 Show me your ways, O LORD,
teach me your paths;
5 guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.
6 Remember, O LORD, your great mercy and love,
for they are from of old.
7 Remember not the sins of my youth
and my rebellious ways;
according to your love remember me,
for you are good, O LORD.
8 Good and upright is the LORD;
therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.
9 He guides the humble in what is right
and teaches them his way.
10 All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful
for those who keep the demands of his covenant.
11 For the sake of your name, O LORD,
forgive my iniquity, though it is great.
12 Who, then, is the man that fears the LORD?
He will instruct him in the way chosen for him.
13 He will spend his days in prosperity,
and his descendants will inherit the land.
14 The LORD confides in those who fear him;
he makes his covenant known to them.
15 My eyes are ever on the LORD,
for only he will release my feet from the snare.
Third, the Lord is your rescuer and redeemer. You can't hold out for your expectations to be met or for the entire plan of your life to be revealed to you all at once. The life of faith is a life lived one second at a time. Faithfulness in this current situation is all God asks.
16 Turn to me and be gracious to me,
for I am lonely and afflicted.
17 The troubles of my heart have multiplied;
free me from my anguish.
18 Look upon my affliction and my distress
and take away all my sins.
19 See how my enemies have increased
and how fiercely they hate me!
20 Guard my life and rescue me;
let me not be put to shame,
for I take refuge in you.
21 May integrity and uprightness protect me,
because my hope is in you.
Joel, the ache that you feel is a "beautiful ache" because it reminds you that you need the Lord more than you need anything else. He will complete you and will completely satisfy you. No one whose hope is in Him will ever be put to shame!